Theophostic Ministry1, as taught by Dr. Ed Smith2, greatly speeds up the healing process. It replaces the
slow recovery that many of us have tried over the years in our search for the healing of our souls. Susan Fisher3, LMFT in San Mateo, California, has found amazing results doing Theophostic work with her clients since 2000. Clients were healed quickly and found their lives dramatically changed.
For those unfamiliar with the Theophostic (TP) approach, it is based on the belief in the sovereign, holy God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who desires intimacy with us. We are limited in our ability to experience His wonderful love in greater measure when we have sins, lies, vows, etc. embedded in our hearts. TP work helps us to find these much more effectively. During the prayer session, the facilitator invites the Holy Spirit to show the client the original event where the message (lie) was implanted. This usually occurs via the emotional part of a person, rather than the intellect. Occasionally though, one simply has an incident come to mind, which might initially seem trivial to them, or perhaps a visual impression—like a womb experience of blackness. Emotions may not surface until the significance of the incident or visual impression is realized. Once the lie is recognized, Jesus is asked to reveal truth to the person resulting in healing and freedom. Along with uncovering the lies, the Holy Spirit is also asked to reveal sinful responses that may have compounded the problem, such as anger, bitterness, and hatred, as well as various vows and decisions often made for self-protection. Time after time immediate healing is experienced that greatly improves the present life of the client and their relationships.
In her Theophostic work, Susan began to notice similar experiences over a period of weeks with a number of clients. When the Holy Spirit was asked to take them to the origin of a lie or negative emotion, they would report experiencing blackness. This perplexed her until she realized they were in a womb experience. After hearing clients describe this repeatedly, she asked the Lord what it meant. Could a child in the womb make internal decisions that would affect them later in life? In what way? Could these early decisions still influence their lives as adults?
Susan had found success through TP in uncovering the roots of the current emotional/spiritual problem by tracing it backwards, through a person's history, to its origin. If this concept were applied to the ultimate origin, would there be benefit to starting at a person's conception and then moving forward through the womb, to birth and into their present life?
Susan and her husband, Larry, a pastor at West Bay Community Church, have sponsored the basic training of Ancient Paths by Craig Hill at their church. They have done generational work with people, having them renounce the generational curses and spirits from their ancestors. With this background and with the discoveries in her counseling experience, Susan wondered, What if I were to do generational work, then process experiences and decisions made in the womb, followed by other TP work? Since several of her clients ended up in the womb anyway, she decided to give it a try.
Consequently, over the past year, she has developed a different way of working with people when they first come to see her, if they are willing. All of these clients to date have been Christians. This approach is described below, followed by several testimonies of some of Susan's clients that give greater insight into the process and its effectiveness.
Susan was led to work in three areas of a person's development which appear to be significant in regard to spiritual dynamics:
in Our image according to Our likenessand
blessed them.(Genesis 1:26b, 28a)4 Just as we inherit biological genetic codes, so we receive a spiritual inheritance, positive and negative, blessings and curses. Over time, as a result of sin entering the world, generational sin and curses were passed down from the fathers to their children. Deuteronomy 5:9, in reference to idolatry, states that the Lord visits
the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations.(Also see Numbers 14:18.) Jesus Christ can break the effects of these generational bondages through His power and authority as we renounce them.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion!(Psalm 139:13-15, Living)
Rebekah went to the Lord when her twins
struggled together within her in Genesis 25:22. The Lord told her
Two nations are in your womb. Even the unborn express conflicts, amazingly in this instance demonstrating the plans the Lord had determined for their lives and the nations that were to come forth from them.
A uniquely remarkable story is told in Luke 1:39-56 where Mary, pregnant with Jesus, went to visit Elizabeth, about 6 months pregnant with John the Baptist. Elizabeth experienced her unborn baby leaping in her womb for joy, and she was filled with the Holy Spirit as a result of her child recognizing the Son of God in Mary's womb. How extraordinary!
Even as God forms us in the womb, the awesomeness of His creative power and ability is evident, as these verses so clearly convey. They also point to the unborn having a level of consciousness and awareness in the womb and having the ability to respond to others (both inside and outside of the womb).
You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book!(Psalm 139:16, Living) Birth bridges our entrance into the breathing world from the womb.
clears each one of these three areas. She does this by asking the Lord to reveal any stumbling blocks in the client's life that originated in any one of them. Once these areas are cleared, she finds other TP work is greatly simplified and proceeds much more quickly.
Susan begins a session in prayer asking the Lord to be present during this time, to provide guidance and direction, and to protect them from all demonic interference.
Susan explains to the client that she wants to start by breaking the generational curses and spirits that came down their family line. She recognized that Dr. Smith's concept of working at the moment of an event (usually in the case of a trauma) rather than in the person's present also applies to generational work. She now starts at the beginning of a person's life so that generational curses and sins do not clutter the later work. This is significant, because she finds if generational work is accomplished in the adult in the present, it frees the person spiritually from any future effect, but the impact of the client's own past still radiates from the womb to the present, causing clutter in the early trauma work. Therefore, Susan goes back to the place in time when generational sins and curses were passed on to the person (conception) in order to eradicate the effects throughout the entire person's life up to the present and also to succeeding generations that follow.
Lord, would you please take this person to the beginning of time for them? Holy Spirit, would You give them a visual to mark the beginning of their time? Susan pauses for the Holy Spirit to do this. If there is no visual impression, she says,
Lord Jesus would you honor wherever they are as being the beginning of time for them?
Susan then asks the person what sins come to their mind as they think of their families—parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. After the client lists about 10 sins, they pray to renounce those before continuing with any additional ones. Sins she finds in every client's family include anger, hatred, and rage. Others could be pride, autonomy, selfishness, fear, idolatry, rebellion, occultism, bitterness, lust, sexual perversion, drug addiction, or any other sins/issues that stand out by characterizing his/her family negatively.
Susan prays in a way similar to the following prayer filling in the blank with the appropriate sins and asking the client to repeat the prayer in agreement:
In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I renounce all generational curses and spirits of _______________. I cut all ties and bonds that they may have had upon me and I ask You, Lord Jesus, to pick up the loose ends of the ties and bonds and connect them directly to You, that I might know You as my source. Thank you, Jesus.
Several people Susan worked with have felt a significant release after doing only generational work (see Allen's testimony). A lady recently shared an experience she had as she began to renounce a spirit of generational anger. Pressure on her throat due to a demonic presence made it very difficult to speak the words. She recognized and acknowledged this strong demonic hold on her family line and renounced it. As a strong Christian, she was shocked that she could be oppressed by a demon passed down through generations.
After Susan and the client work through all the sins the Holy Spirit brings to mind, they proceed to experiences in the mother's womb.
Even in the womb, the unborn child becomes aware of the outer world through hearing with their ears and/or sensing in their spirit. They can sense acceptance or rejection. They can
feel their mother's emotions. They can hear fighting or classical music. They can perceive harm or safety. As a result of these perceptions, they make decisions and draw conclusions about the world they will soon enter. These experiences can often lead to significant beliefs or vows that powerfully shape a person's later life (when lies are uncovered here or during birth, the adult will often remark how they have
felt this way all their lives and have continually struggled with this aspect of their identity).
Psalm 27:4 says,
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to meditate in His temple. Those who love the heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ yearn for more of His presence and uninterrupted fellowship with Him. As Susan proceeds with womb work, the connection with the Lord often becomes disrupted. This signifies a block or clutter of some kind. As clients acknowledge sinful hindrances to the Lord Jesus, and allow Him to cleanse and purify them by His blood, they are drawn closer to Him and are able to experience His presence more fully. The goal of this healing is to connect the person to the Father through the true Lord Jesus, working through all womb and birth hindrances so that this connection continues through childhood work (see Allen's testimony).
As Susan proceeds with womb work, if the presence of the Lord is not available to the client, she looks to see what kind of clutter might be blocking it. She might say,
Lord, could you show _____ what is making it hard for him/her to experience Your presence? As in all Theophostic work, it is important for the client to report all senses, thoughts, pictures, etc. that come to their minds. What may seem insignificant to them may be the key to uncovering a lie or vow. Susan continues to ask the Lord to lead them as they proceed through whatever issues stand between them and the Lord's presence.
Lord, please shine Your light more fully to reveal your truth to _____. Or she may say,
Lord, why is _____ finding it so hard to experience Your presence? She does not allow the person to get into their
head (try to remember or use logic) but to stay with their feelings, as the Holy Spirit leads them.
Once the effects of generational sin are substantially broken by previous work at conception, any remaining clutter in the womb probably relates directly to the client himself. All clutter—strong problem emotions, sins, or revealed vows—needs to be brought to the Lord in accordance with the Word of God.
Susan often finds the following personal issues surfacing during this work:
Sometimes a sin or emotion (such as anger) continues to maintain a powerful hold on a person that doesn't disappear despite previous generational work. Susan addresses these sins in the following five ways using a prayer similar to that used in
Conception work (see #1. Conception, page 2):
For example, the area of anger can be addressed by covering the five points above using the following prayer:
In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I renounce all generational curses and spirits of anger, all personal spirits of anger, all demonic spirits of anger, all vows of anger, and all idols of anger. I cut all ties and bonds that they may have upon me, and I ask You, Lord Jesus, to pick up the loose ends of the ties and bonds and connect them directly to You, that I might know You as my source. Thank you, Jesus.(See Bill's testimony)
What common issues surface repeatedly? Many of us don't like the family or situation into which God sent us. Perhaps we would have chosen a better family or somehow made a better world. This kind of prideful thinking sets us above God, indicating the need to repent of self-idolatry.
Philippians 2:5-8 speaks of the obedience of Jesus to the Father in coming to earth. Throughout His life, beginning in the womb, He trusted the Father's direction and will. Not so, for us. How early we make decisions to protect ourselves from pain! We question, rebel, defy, and disobey the Lord of Glory, perhaps even hating God for what He has chosen for us, holding tenaciously with a tight fist to our rights and opinions. We feel unsafe, perhaps due to our mother's ambivalence or as a result of the yelling/shouting/fighting/lack of love or lack of acceptance coming from the outer world. With our wills, we choose to close down our hearts or shut people/God out to keep ourselves from feeling the pain of rejection, hatred, or fear. It is these decisions we made so early in life, setting ourselves up as our own gods—to take care of our own needs, to protect ourselves, and to manipulate our situation instead of going to God—that become a form of idolatry, producing anger and taking us out of God's original presence.
In order to discern what might be keeping the little one from experiencing the presence of the true Lord Jesus, Susan continues to ask the client throughout the womb and birth,
How is the little one's heart doing? When obstructions come through emotional disturbance or demonic interference, they stop and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth of the situation. The issues are dealt with right then. Although renunciation seems to clear most issues, some will persist. In these cases, Susan may counsel the client to confess the sin and ask Jesus' forgiveness.
Susan has observed two stages in her work. The first is the healing where the baby becomes peaceful and calm. The first few times this happened, she thought the client was finished with womb memories. In discovering the full extent of healing the Lord provides, Susan began to understand that sometimes the child only senses the Lord without fully experiencing His presence. Then the Lord showed her that—more than giving peace and calm to the child—He wanted to give them an experience of Himself. This is the blessing, the second stage.
Until the client experiences the blessing, Susan asks,
Lord, what is keeping this little one from fully experiencing Your presence? and continues to look for other clutter. When His presence is finally experienced, the emotional response of the client is one that could not be
manufactured or faked; it is one that affirms that the person truly is experiencing the presence of the Lord. When the little one and the Lord are interacting in some fashion as led by the Holy Spirit—with a hug, a smile, or some other method of communication—it indicates that the womb phase of healing is completed.
Susan confirms this by asking,
Lord, is there anything else that you want this little one to know? and waits for the Lord to respond.
Why do many issues appear to surface during the womb experience? This is a difficult question to answer with certainty, but it is possible that the womb is the actual place where many significant vows are made, or some may prefer to believe that the Lord is giving visual impressions to the person so that He can deal with root issues bringing healing and freedom. Either way, these early vows and beliefs, appearing to originate in the womb, seem to be reflected in the adult life, much like a mirror image. Left unresolved, they continue to poison the client's life and prevent, or greatly hinder, real intimacy and fulfillment in personal relationships—especially with their spouse and with the Lord.
Once the healing and blessing have occurred, Susan says,
Lord, would you please let the child know when it is time to be born? If, during birth, the client loses the sense of the presence of the Lord, Susan looks for the reason.
Lord, why is _____ having a hard time continuing to feel Your presence? She has found that many clients lose the connection with the Lord in the birthing process due to fear, traumas, or other clutter. When these arise, she stops and works with the vows or decisions made here just like any other memory. The reception at birth can either result in a child feeling welcomed or rejected/unwanted. Several people have experienced dramatic transformations when the blocks that occurred during their birth or shortly thereafter were resolved (see Catherine's testimony).
In conclusion, Susan is finding that by doing generational and womb work first, many adult struggles are eradicated without having to go back to them one by one as in basic TP work. As in TP work, healing flows upward (not backwards) throughout one’s later life, demolishing the lies and vows that were reinforced or repeated.
Three areas—conception, the womb, and birth—seem to be distinct areas. Birth needs to be processed separately, perhaps because the child in the womb is in a totally different environment than one who enters the outside world. Once born, the child can experience the presence of the Lord in other life memories. These memories are easier to clear after this previous work because the little one knows who to look for and has had an experience of the Lord to build on. After this initial work, other problems that surface can be handled with the regular TP sessions.
As my husband and I shared about the healing God did in our own lives, several of our friends wanted to experience deeper healing also. Witnessing the change in our lives gave them hope that issues they had struggled with for years might finally be resolved. Six of these who sought help with the Fishers share their stories of the inner transformations they experienced. Some names are changed to enable them to share more freely. Most have had further follow-up counseling to work through other issues. Since this involves a small group (though Susan has worked with many others) over a relatively short period of time, other prayer counselors/Christian therapists are encouraged to share their own results with Susan in using this approach. The long-range effect of such work in the transformation of a person's life will become more evident over time. Like many of you, Susan's desire is to follow the Lord as He continues to give insights leading to more effective approaches for healing. Networking, sharing and collaboration with those of you in the counseling field can be of significant benefit. Continual communication is important.
I have gone through a great deal of healing over the years through Elijah House, listening prayer, Neil Anderson's
Freedom In Christ Ministries, TP, and various counselors. I have taught and used Theophostic prayer in my own pastoral ministry and seen tremendous healing in others.
God set me free from alcohol and drugs. He has also given me a great deal of freedom in various other areas. Nevertheless, some place or part of me continued to feel anger, bitterness, and rage toward God and others. Hidden deep within my heart was a sense that God and the world were unfair to me, that they were against me, even using me. Life remained a constant battle—a losing battle at that—even while I praised God for the work He did through me in the lives of others. Though my wife continued to point out good aspects of our lives, I felt God to be lacking in his protection of His children and slow to heal me.
My father started beating me around 3-5 months of age and continued throughout my childhood (this also included my siblings and mother). I internalized the rage, developing defense mechanisms to dissociate from the present, later using alcohol and drugs to numb my anger, pain, and shame. Even though I had gone through much healing, I knew intense pain was still hidden somewhere deep inside, but I couldn't seem to connect with it. I felt a huge chasm, like a Grand Canyon, between my adult existence as a husband and pastor, and my past abuse. No matter where I went for help, this deep place of bitterness and rage and the never-ending sense of defeat remained untouched, stealing my peace. No matter how many times I confessed and renounced my decision/vow to shut off my feelings, nothing made a lasting difference at the deepest level. Even with Theophostic work I experienced slow progress and hit many dead ends, uncovering one lie at a time.
Then I met with Susan and Larry through my friendship with Wanda. I expected more slow, slow work penetrating through my defenses. I longed to get to the deep issues but felt resigned to a long, tedious process.
First, we prayed through generational curses and spirits, especially those of anger and rage. The children in my family four generations back had left their parents and home in anger. My father had left his home with anger and rage at his mother. My mother, too, left home with anger and rage at her mother. I recall my parents telling me many times that my oldest sister was “born angry.”
As we began praying about generational curses, the first words that came up with clarity were hatred, fear, and terror. Then we continued working through other generational sins such as rage, independence, autonomy, competition, and sexual immorality. After we finished the generational work we began praying and renouncing many vows and decisions I made in the womb to protect myself from the negative environment waiting for me outside the womb.
I had a sense of cutting off my feelings in the womb before ever displaying them. When we prayed through my decision to repress feelings, something was released deep within my spirit at a very core level. I felt my body relax and those watching were able to visibly see a peace settle over me. Since then I have noticed an increased ability to allow positive feelings to surface without my old, built-in defense mechanisms shutting me down. I can sense the Spirit more readily when I react to someone. Instead of pulling within myself for a few hours or days I am free to process my reactions with the Lord. This is a big, BIG difference.
Another internal response has shifted. Both when praying with others or being prayed for myself, I used to hear in my head,
You're an S.O.B. No amount of prayer stopped this consistent thought. Due to our generational work and rebuke, it is gone.
Since the time of healing from my birth experience, I no longer get upset over a number of things that would normally enrage me, causing me to feel like I had to fight, fight, fight against the world before moving to passive resignation. I am now able to move through these situations with peace, real peace, as opposed to
white-knuckling it and shutting down the negative emotions just to get through them. Several circumstances involving financial problems, moving costs, truck repairs, and church administrators playing politics would have sent me inside of myself in the past, feeling helpless, defensive, and frustrated. This has changed, and my wife has really noticed a significant difference.
This is the first time I have experienced a lasting healing. Past counseling experiences left me feeling better for a few days, but eventually I seemed to revert back to the way I'd felt before. This enduring healing is most likely due to Susan's approach of beginning at conception instead of trying to work through layer upon layer of deeply ingrained defenses that had proved to be very effective in keeping me separated from my painful, negative feelings of fear, terror, hatred and helplessness as well as the related generational sins. With this new approach, I was able to connect with God’s love from the beginning of my existence and then moved through various pre-birth obstacles with Him.
Covering the five areas (generational, demonic & personal spirits, vows, and idolatry) when encountering strongholds made it more inclusive, covering all possible areas where a particular sin might open a door for demonic influence. This threw a wide net over me closing off every foothold the enemy may have gained.
This prayer time was quiet rather than dramatic, but extremely significant nevertheless.
Soon afterwards, when I prayed for someone, the Lord took my client back to the beginning of his life as in Susan’s approach. This client called me a few days later to share that his anger is totally gone and that his wife doesn't trigger him anymore since releasing his bitterness and hatred towards his mother. Another miracle!
Some (or many) may have a hard time understanding this pre-verbal time period. I do not understand it myself, but I do know the Lord addressed generational issues, released something at a core level, increased my ability to sense His presence in my prayer life on a consistent basis, and gave me a hunger for further healing that will continue to have increasingly positive impact on my family and ministry.
I have felt depressed all of my life. Except when I was actively helping someone, I continually felt depressed. My mother told me repeatedly throughout my life,
When the doctor handed you to me I told him you weren't mine because you were so ugly. Needless to say, I felt incredibly rejected from the beginning of my life. As a child I didn't want to learn. My mother put me in the basement to practice jump roping because I didn't want to go out and play. Singing was my only source of comfort. I had a little part of me who carried great sadness, and I often sang a song to her called,
Go away little girl, because I had to take care of my mother and didn't have time to be a little girl with needs. Due to depression and the lack of acceptance and nurturing, this part of me didn't develop emotionally. I had always carried a deep sadness, and the day my mother died, I realized I also carried an angry woman inside of me. I began to fluctuate between depression and anger. After 10 years my marriage failed. I sought the Lord more and soon married a man who knew the Lord well.
After experiencing a miscarriage about a year ago, a deepened depression caused me to sleep a great deal, neglect my home responsibilities, and hide at home from my friends. Wanda introduced me to Susan whom I saw for three Theophostic prayer sessions. These helped, but my depression continued.
Susan asked if we could work in a new way that was proving to be very helpful for others she counseled. I agreed. On the way to my session, driving with Wanda, I talked about the difficulties in my marriage. She pointed out several significant vows that I had made, especially noting those concerning my mother.
In the previous work with Susan, we had done some womb work. When I was
born I went for a moment to my mother, but then to my father. This time, after we did the generational work and went through the womb experience, I could feel the Lord’s presence.
When we came to the time for my birth, I did not want to be born because I did not want to let go of Jesus when He placed me in my mother's arms. I clung to Him, with my arms and legs entwining Him like one would wrap around a fire pole. I continued to resist during my birth, not wanting to go to my mother, but the Lord persisted in leading me in that direction. Because of her grief over the death of my older brother, I sensed while still in the womb that the only thing that would please her would be another boy. I believed from the start that I was
defective as a girl and a disappointment to my mother. What happened next was powerful beyond words and has had a significant effect in my life.
Jesus drew me out of the womb with His hands holding me in His arms. Then He gave me to my mother. I thought He was going to let go of me, but instead His arms transfused into hers. I thought of the vow I had made very early to win her love and to avoid rejection,
I will be whoever you want me to be and do whatever you want me to do, just show me how. As I felt myself in both of their arms, Jesus spoke to me,
You made the right vow but to the wrong person. Turn your eyes upon Me, and make that vow to Me. Now I knew I was giving everything to the Lord, although I thought I had served the Lord by making that vow to my mother. I had thought loyalty to my mother was pleasing to Him. This was the lie. Now that I made the vow to the right One, tears tumbled down my face from the joy and peace that came from truly pleasing my Lord.
The moment I did this, the depression lifted. My whole being was filled with joy. The dark shadow that had lingered over my soul for over 40 years disappeared in an instant. The years of counseling, prayer, and psychology training had not freed me from this cloud. Starting at the beginning of my life and following the Lord's instructions did. Praise Him!
In the following days, my husband and I both noticed significant changes in my attitudes and behavior. I do not become enraged like I used to. I could love the children more openly and showed more patience. The sadness I had as a young child disappeared. My husband likes the new me! I continue to meet with Susan to work through several other issues that have bubbled up since this powerful time together.
Several of my long-time Christian friends had sought healing consistently for many years. I had observed their slow recovery, often with insignificant results. I co-led a Bible study that included many of my close friends. Over a period of several weeks, one by one I began to see sudden changes in some of the women.
One evening, when my friend Catherine walked in, my spirit leaped. I immediately discerned spiritual clarity I had never seen in her before, a similar type of clarity I had recognized in several others. I was thrilled at the joy I saw in her. I discerned a new peace and humility. Before, I had sensed defiance. I had recognized what seemed to be two sides to her, the spiritual person and the angry person, although I had not understood this. When she came in, for the first time I saw her as one person. So I wanted to know what had led to her transformation.
When Wanda invited me to a small workshop with Susan and asked if I would be the demonstration person, I gladly accepted. I wanted to find out if this would help my life, especially in areas of personal concern, such as my weight. What amazed me was the way in which the Lord ministered corporately through these women (eight others), especially when we worked through the generational bondages. Several had discernment about strongholds we had missed. Others articulated in greater depth words that came to me about my ancestors, enabling me to renounce past generational issues more completely.
One of the most important things the Lord showed me as we worked in the
womb was that my nine-year-old sister was happy I was coming into existence. My brother, however, had his face turned away as if to say,
I'll have nothing to do with this. (Interestingly, I have felt rejection from my brother all of my life.) My 18-month-old sister seemed indifferent; she was busy and not really paying attention. As a result of entering a family with various attitudes towards my birth, I vowed to please them all. As I considered their varying responses, I became afraid and confused. Feeling overwhelmed, I burst into tears. What if they didn't have time for me? Feeling that there was no way to please them all, I said to myself,
I don't care! It was a struggle for me now to acknowledge and renounce this vow to not care. I had set my eyes upon my family and their love, allowing this to become an idol in my life, rather than setting my eyes upon the Lord.
As we worked further I saw darkness again. I found myself sitting straight up, like a defiant child. Susan led me as I renounced defiance in five ways. As I completed the last one, I sensed the Lord's presence and heard him say,
I love you. Being a Christian, I knew on a cognitive level that the Lord loved me. Scriptures had confirmed this over and over to me. But now I experienced His love and burst into tears. While in the womb I had felt confused and rejected. With my eyes set on acceptance by my family, I was unable to see or have an awareness of the Lord. Now that my eyes were set on Him, my cognitive understanding of his love had gone from
my head to
my heart where it touched and transformed me.
Moving into my birth, I heard Jesus say,
You didn't trust me or anyone else. Understanding the significance of this, I willingly responded as He led me to renounce the vow,
I won't trust You.
Susan asked if I had a question for Jesus. That surprised me. Ask Jesus a question? But one immediately came to mind,
How do I trust people?
By trusting Me, Jesus replied. Oh! I had always had a hard time fully trusting others. Something seemed to hold me back. But now I understood why and took the Lord’s hand as He reached out to me.
That evening I noticed a difference in my response to my children as I put them to bed. I wasn't trying to act differently. I just behaved differently, out of the healing I had experienced. Instead of an undercurrent of defiance that was normally evident in the demanding tone and sharp edge of my voice when I told my children to go to bed, I found myself speaking gently to them.
The week following this session, I noticed a major difference in clarity in my thoughts. I am also aware of having much more peace about who I am. My feelings about my brother have also changed. I feel released and want to love him.
Susan often says,
When you take one of the marbles out of the bottom of the jar, all of the marbles shift. Truly this is what happened to me that day. I never thought that one session using this new approach would have such a wonderful impact on my life. When a friend first told me about this early work, I laughed inside. The womb? Not for me! Yet I have been profoundly changed. I continue to experience changes every day.
I had gone through many years of counseling before I met Susan. Coming from a home broken up by divorce, my life always seemed to be out of control as a child. During my youth I suffered through sexual abuse and rape, driving me to drugs and other immoral and destructive behavior including several abortions. I ran away from home at age 16 crossing the continent. Needless to say, when I entered marriage I was a mess, dead and empty inside. Though I thought things couldn't get worse, my serious PMS problems and severe depression coupled with chronic fatigue increased after the birth of my first child.
The inability to bond with my parents now prevented me from bonding with my husband. Genuine communication was difficult from the beginning and after several years we rarely even spoke. We were like two ships passing in the night. My 12-year marriage ended in divorce as deeply buried issues began to bubble to the surface. The effort at one point to mend the marriage with a
Christian counselor served only to open up my wounds resulting in extreme rage with no resolution. This rage landed me in jail. I was not allowed to legally return to my home, which in itself was traumatic because I had been a 24/7 mom and my home was my sanctuary.
For the next four years following my divorce, I sat at the feet of Jesus for hours each day in Bible study and intercession. Here, I began to find healing through learning who Jesus was. With the help of Christian friends and good biblical counselors, I began to find the keys to true healing.
Despite the healing, however, my feeling of
aloneness and a sense of isolation persisted. I had carried this deep loneliness into my marriage and it continued after the divorce. I was also aware of other crucial issues that seemed resistant to any kind of healing. Finally the Lord led me to someone who could help me. I was greatly encouraged to find Jesus the focus of our time together.
When Susan took me to my origins, I had an experience with the Lord that was very powerful. I saw Jesus in my spirit. He spoke to me. I saw and felt His presence.
The three issues we worked with that stand out in my mind were rejection, abandonment, and lack of bonding. As Jesus took me through these painful events, speaking to me and reassuring me, I felt loved and elated. I realized He had never rejected nor abandoned me. I understood that Jesus saved my life and protected me in many life-threatening situations.
After being healed in these critical areas, I was able to see my life in a new way. I could never find joy before because I was trapped in the pain. Now the terrible sting in the memories is gone. I can be historical without being hysterical when I think of my past. There is a deep assurance in my heart now realizing that God has stood by me throughout my life, even when I felt no one was there to care for me, even when I was deep in the pit of self-destruction and immorality. He truly loved me from the beginning of my life and His love continues today. I was blinded to all of this back then, but now I know and am grateful for His abiding love for me.
I am amazed at how quickly healing has occurred under Susan's ministry. In a few sessions we have rapidly worked through issues that have plagued me for years. Having gone through generational work, renunciations, breaking vows, and confronting demonic strongholds, Susan’s work reminds me of
Merry Maids, a rapid house cleaning service, which comes in and quickly deep cleans out the dirt from years of grime. Now that the initial work has been done, and I understand how to ask Jesus to show me root lies, I can do much of the Theophostic work myself or with a prayer partner as I continue to process deep pain from other past experiences when it surfaces.
As an intercessor, I believe that part of Susan's success in finding deeper healing springs comes from her close walk with the Lord and her humility in seeking the Lord and His answers. My prayer is that you will go to the Lord and listen to His voice concerning what we have shared here. What we are seeing amongst our fellowship is truly a work of God. We long that others in the Body of Christ would embrace the deeper work of Jesus our Lord and find the freedom and joy as we have.
I went to Susan to see if TP could help me with my weight. I had already gone through a great deal of healing, especially concerning my relationship with my father.
The second time I saw her she began by focusing on generational sin. We listed off sins my family exhibited. The ones that stood out the most were
control. My father was quite self-sufficient, capable, and independent. As a workaholic he had a hard time asking for help. He always worked better, faster, and more efficiently than the next person. He found it difficult to draw close to others. His death had literally left a hole in my chest. For years after his death I could feel air passing through it because I had longed for a kind of intimacy and love he didn’t know how to give. The generational work brought relief in this area, and I felt like a great burden had lifted off my back.
After this work at my conception, where I was able to connect to the Lord, and then continued through the womb to birth, identifying various family generational idols, which I renounced. Any time my connection with the Lord was disrupted, we would find the reason and deal with it so that I remained close to Him.
When we reached age one, something powerful happened. I saw my father coming into the room very angry when I was in my crib. Seeing his explosive anger, I looked anxiously at Jesus asking,
What's his problem? He showed me that the lie I believed was that I was the cause of the anger, that I was the problem. Realizing that I wasn't responsible for his anger brought me such relief that for the next three minutes I was both laughing and crying at the same time. After exposing this lie, God continued and took me on a 20-minute
fast forward journey through key events in my life letting me see these events through his eyes. With this new perspective, the events were reinterpreted as they flashed through my mind. Similar to the one-year-old’s insight, I was able to see each time that
it not my fault or
I was not the problem, but rather it was
just what happened. I would see an event I previously felt blamed for now as just an event. Experiencing the Lord's perspective of the situation, I was able to see each incident from an entirely emotionally neutralized point of view.
In the days following this work, I noticed several significant changes in myself. Events or circumstances that would normally trigger the feeling that
it's my fault no longer had that power over me. I found myself going up to a group of my son's high school friends and talking without self-consciousness. Before, I would have lacked the confidence to do this and remained silent. Some changes are not easy to verbalize, but I am very aware that I now react much differently to certain things or people than I did before my healing. The exciting changes in my life not only concern what I'm doing differently, but what I'm not doing as well.
When I studied psychology, I knew there had to be a better way to healing, found in God, who is the only One to speak pure truth. I actually went back to study further due to my husband's inability to grieve the deaths in his family—his two brothers (one died in his teens) and both parents. This strong man felt intense mental anguish. I worried about future health problems that had plagued his family. I wanted so to help him, but bringing up the subject of death only seemed to increase the denial indicated by his silence. I kept praying to God asking Him to direct us to a way my husband could get through the layers of pain so that he would find peace within himself and unconditional love from God. The Lord heard my prayers.
When a friend shared about Theophostic counseling, I wanted my husband to go. I felt a strong sense of confidence that God was leading us to healing. Surprisingly, he agreed. What amazed me was how quickly God ministered to him through Susan and Larry. Within a few sessions he was finally able to find peace through the Lord. He no longer carries the burdens of anger, rage, shame, and guilt.
What surprised me even more, perhaps, was that at the beginning of our second session, Susan invited me to participate as well. It was as though she knew I had been praying to find the right way and time to let her know I was in pain.
In the womb work I experienced clarification and understanding for the first time about why I had always felt unwanted. The pieces of the puzzle came together for me. During the womb experience I sensed rejection from my mother (just months before my conception, my mother had terminated an unwanted pregnancy). She was only 17 at the time and my father was only 18 on the day of my birth. I felt defiance and anger in the womb (therefore defiance was already a part of my nature at birth) because my parents considered me a burden and didn't want me. All my life I had carried this sense of rejection. Going back to the womb helped me to connect with Jesus. I had shut him out before I entered what I believed to be an unfriendly world. I renounced the defiance and other generational sins.
As the session continued, I came out of the womb, focusing on birth. I never anticipated what happened next. I was taken by total surprise. The Lord was there—right at the moment of birth. Though I didn't actually see Him, I heard Him say,
You can trust in the Lord. Trust in Me. At first I couldn't believe what had happened. I felt absolutely startled. But seconds later I felt a wave of His presence in a way I'm unable to describe. It was as though the Lord wrapped His arms around me. I wanted to stay in that moment for as long as possible and etch it into my memory banks, never to be forgotten.
Have the marbles shifted? Yes, dynamically, in new ways each day as the months pass. During my childhood, my parents sent me to Catechism where I learned about God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Although sexually abused as a child, I knew God was with me. I would put my rosary under my pillow to keep God close to me and to be there with me when I hurt. What developed in time, however, was a belief that I could put God into my pocket and carry Him with me. It was my way of taking control of God, like I tried to do with many other things. Being in control helped me feel safer and more secure. But since the Lord spoke those words to me, I have been in daily transition. When I face situations now, I no longer have the need to control, but am able to continually place my trust in Jesus and release each situation to Him. I'm finding a peace within which continues to grow. I find refuge in remembering that place He first spoke to me. Every time I feel His trust a calm inner peace surfaces. Counselors don't do the healing, God does! I am a daughter of the King.
Will others understand, accept and ultimately benefit from reading about our experiences? Our hope is
yes. The only limits on the Lord’s healing are the ones we place there ourselves. We hope you will not discount what the Lord has shown Susan and Larry. What is beyond powerful is what each of us experience with the Lord. THANK YOU, JESUS!
We trust, as a community united by faith in Jesus Christ, that should you or your client be struggling to find God's deep healing, you will consider using this biblical approach and in doing so hopefully find it helpful in bringing lasting healing to those you minister to. May we all faithfully continue to share what the Lord teaches each of us with others in the Body. May His healing truth produce greater purity, joy, and peace in each of our lives.
Ministries that pray through womb issues offering resources, seminars, & counseling:
Elijah House, founded by John and Paula Sandford (Idaho) (208) 773-1645 www.elijahhouse.org
Deep Healing Ministries, founded by Dr. Charles Kraft (California) (626) 296-1257 www.deephealingministries.com
With appreciation to Sheila Salmon of Restoration in Christ Ministries (RCM) for editorial assistance.
Copyright 2003 Wanda Viola All rights reserved.
2References to Theophostic Ministry are not intended to imply an endorsement by Dr. Ed Smith of Susan Fisher's ministry.This process of taking people to womb memories is different from Theophostic Ministry in that TPM is careful not to direct, suggest or insinuate any place that a person needs to find truth and healing. A person administering TPM would simply ask the person to feel their emotional pain and then ask the Lord to direct them to the place of its origin. If the place is the womb or precognitive, then the Theophostic facilitator assumes that the Holy Spirit will direct them to such place. Theophostic Ministry teaches that the healing process is totally directed and guided by the Holy Spirit. However, if a person finds himself in a womb memory, the Theophostic Principles are applied as with any other memory.Ed Smith